Happy Days

This book is made up from my contributions to Punch —a casual selection from the four hundred or so which have appeared in the last nine years. It is offered to the American public as a sample of that Punch humour (and perhaps, therefore, British humour) which Americans so often profess not to understand. According to whether they like it or do not like it, I hope they will consider it a representative or an unrepresentative sample. A.A.M. CONTENTS MARGERY page I. Her Sock 13 II. How We Play the Pianola 20 III. The Knight of the Chimney-Piece 27 IV. The Art of Conversation 32 V. Afternoon Sleep 38 VI. A Twice Told Tale 44 VII. The Literary Art 50 VIII. My Secretary 56 IX. The Truth About Home Rails 62 LIFE'S LITTLE TRAGEDIES X. A Crown of Sorrows 71 XI. The Lucky Month 76 XII. The Rescue 83 XIII. The Portuguese Cigar 90 XIV. A Cold World 96 XV. A Breath of Life 103 XVI. The Doctor 113 XVII. The Financier 120 XVIII. The Things That Matter 126 THREE STORIES XIX. The Making of a Christmas Story 135 XX. A Matter-of-Fact Fairy Tale 151 XXI. The Seaside Novelette 166 OUT-OF-DOORS XXII. The First of Spring 181 XXIII. The Coming of the Crocus 188 XXIV. The Landscape Gardener 195 XXV. Pat-Ball 202 XXVI. Ten and Eight 208 XXVII. An Inland Voyage 214 XXVIII. One of Our Sufferers 221 XXIX. Chum 228 XXX. "Under Entirely New Management" 234 XXXI. A Farewell Tour 241 INDOORS XXXII. Physical Culture 251 XXXIII. An Insurance Act 258 XXXIV. Getting the Needle 264 XXXV. Dressing Up 270 XXXVI. The Complete Kitchen 276 XXXVII. An Informal Evening 283 XXXVIII. A Billiard Lesson 290 XXXIX. Bachelor Relics 297 LITTLE PLAYS FOR AMATEURS XL. "Fair Mistress Dorothy" 305 XLI. "A Slight Misunderstanding" 312 XLII. "Miss Prendergast" 319 XLIII. "At Dead of Night" 326 XLIV. "The Lost Heiress" 335 XLV. "The Literary Life" 340 SUCCESSFUL MEN XLVI. The Solicitor 349 XLVII. The Painter 356 XLVIII. The Barrister 363 XLIX. The Civil Servant 370 L. The Actor 377 LI. The Collector 384 LII. The Statesman 391 LIII. The Magnate 400 LIV. The Adventurer 407 LV. The Explorer 414 LVI. The Newspaper Proprietor 421 MARGERY I. HER SOCK I When Margery was three months old I wrote a letter to her mother: Dear Madam ,—If you have a copy in Class D…