Major Vigoureux

"Archelaus," said the Commandant, "where did you get those trousers?" Sergeant Archelaus, who, as he dug in the neglected garden, had been exposing a great quantity of back-view (for he was a long man), straightened himself up, faced about, and, grounding his long-handled spade as it were a musket, stood with palms crossed over the top of it. "Off the Lord Proprietor," he answered. The Commandant, seated on a bench under the veronica hedge, a few yards higher up the slope, laid down his book, took off his spectacles, wiped them, and replaced them very deliberately. "The Lord Proprietor? I do not understand—" His face had reddened a little, as it usually did at mention of the Lord Proprietor. "Made me a present of 'em," explained Sergeant Archelaus, curtly. "You don't mean to say you haven't noticed 'em till this minute?" The Commandant put the question aside. "The Lord Proprietor has no right to be offering presents to my men—least of all, presents of clothes." "If the Government won't send over stores, nor you write for any, I don't see how the man can help himself. 'Tisn't regulation pattern for the R'yal Artillery, I'll grant you: not the sort of things you'd wear on the right of the line. In fact, he told me 'tis an old pair he used to carry when he went deer-stalkin'." "They are hideous, Archelaus; not to mention that they don't fit you in the least." "They don't look so bad when I'm sitting down," said Archelaus, after a moment's thought, and with an air of forced cheerfulness. "If that's all you can say in extenuation!——" "Well, 'twas kindly meant, any way; for the old ones were a scandal—yes, be sure. What with sea-water and scrambling after gulls' eggs, they was becoming a byword all over the Islands." The Commandant winced, not for the first time in this conversation. "Treacher makes his clothes last," he objected. "Sam Treacher's a married man, and gets his bad luck different." "But—but couldn't you ask Mrs. Treacher to take your old ones in hand and put in a patch or two? That might carry you on for a few months, and if you grudge the expense, I don't mind subscribing a shilling or so." Sergeant Archelaus shook his head. "What's the use?" he asked. "'Tis but puttin' off the evil day. If Her Majesty won't send us clothes, we…